Monthly Archives: April 2013

2013 @deanshaw Twitter Madness Championship – The Big Dance!

Thanks to @1918 for image!

I stole this image from @1918

Unlike last year’s tournament where a Cinderella in the form of @1918 stormed the Final Four, this year’s event featured some true heavyweights of the Twitter-sphere. The question on everyone’s mind is who will join @spikejones and @jimsterne in the hallowed hall of the Twitter Madness infamy. Each of the Final Four contestants would be worthy champions but alas just won will receive the honor of saying “Twitter Madness Tourney? I have no clue what you’re talking about.” But before we get to the championship we must first determine the combatants. Let’s go to the Final Four Summary…

@unmarketing v. @jowyang:

The early favorite in this match had to be @jowyang given his experience in the Twitter Madness event. In fact it was just last year that Jeremiah battle tweet-to-tweet with eventual champion Jim Sterne in an epic match-up so surely his mettle is well tested in this arena.

During his match-up @jowyang went with the “Travelogue Strategy” last seen in the 1972 Twitter Madness Tourney and we followed Jeremiahs travel to New York.  Some of the things we learned were:

  • He had a bunch of meetings
  • He either meditates or medicates depending on whether you believe him or his auto-correct
  • The World Trade Center looks magnificent – so eff you terrorists!
  • He had some more meetings
  • The AT&T building is designed to withstand a nuclear attack – and probably angry customers I assume
  • People in Colorado speak the most normal…or is it Ohio…whatever.
  • More meetings
  • Sushi chefs spend waaaaaaay too much time learning their craft
  • It takes 5,100 gallons of fuel to fly from NYC to SF just slightly more than what a Hummer uses going to the other side of town.

In all a rather pedestrian performance by the Altimeter Man. Frankly I woulda cut my trip short so that I could focus on the Tourney but whatevs

So what about @unmarketing ? Could he topple last year’s Tourney Runner up?  What did we learn from Scott during the match-up?

  • He’s a lawbreaker.  A nice lawbreaker but a lawbreaker nonetheless (FWIW, only would a Canadian compliment the cop that pulled him over)

@unmarketing gets busted by the po po

  • He offered his insight on what happens when you unsubscribe from an email list

Unsubscribed ? Bwahahaha

  • He shared a follower’s insight on QR Code strategy

QR Code Strategey?

  • He provided an analysis of Microsoft’s Retail presence.


  • He finished off with a video of 5 Year-Old Jonah Rocking out on a System of a Down drum cover

Yes Jonah, you rock! But you know who else rocks? @unmarketing, that’s who.

Winner: @unmarketing


@JustinKownacki v. @AndyBeal:

A battle of two Twitter Madness Tourney veterans.  One “Armchair sociologist & perpetual contrarian”, the other CEO of @Trackur, founder of @MarketingPilgrm. Loves the ukulele, taekwo….what? Plays the ukulele?  Oh let’s check that out.  I suggest turning the speakers to 11 while reading the remainder of this post

So @JustinKownacki of the Erie, Pennsylvania Kownackis is always a though provoking observer of his surroundings.  He almost didn’t even qualify for the tournament because I suspect his intellect is too high, but then I remembered he was from Erie, PA, the same town as my good pal @ToddAllen9 and he’s pretty much an idiot so I figured how smart could this Justin guy really be.  But back to the task at hand, Justin started as he normally does poking his followers with tweet like this:

He does have a point

And ya know he’s got a point…in fact I think I taking tomorrow off.

He also wisely observed:

Beware of Time Manangement

I’ll throw in people with clean offices, whassup wit dat?

But then he went all intellectual on us again:

Dedeviled Eggs?

I mean I love bedeviled eggs as much as the next guy but what does that have to do with electronics? But he eventually brought himself back with a well-timed burrito reference:

I love me some burritos

But then went right back to the intellectual stuff quoting, of course Nabokov, who is, of course, the back-up goaltender for the New York Islanders

Nabokov, poet, goaltender


So, in typical @JustinKownacki style he gave you  mixed bag ranging from the ridiculous to the sublime, from the highbrow to the low brow…ok….I don’t even know what that means.

Now what of @AndyBeal, he of the indiscernible accent, what was he up to during this critical match-up…

Once again he was up to his old tricks, vacillating between over the top compliments to me, the Owner and Commissioner of the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney and downright jabs to my character.  His bait and switch strategy has worked in the past, but would that continue?

He started by concurring with @FYeahAnalytics on the integrity of the Tourney itself..

The Twitter Madness Tourney Rigged?

Well, I never….

Then he mixed in some stuff about Mobile Ads and LinkedIn…

Then figuring he’d done enough for one day went to go see the Carolina Hurricanes get beat again with 108 of his closest friends.

The Carolina Hurricanes are horrible

The funny thing is that I really believe only 108 people showed up for the game cuz those Hurricanes are



Then he jumped back to his compliments:

Snark Off?

@deanshaw snark-off Champion

And then either insulted me or complimented me, I don’t have a clue <mental note: ask @JustinKownacki, he’ll know):

An Ornithorhynchus what?

And then he went back to some stuff like ‘reputation management’ and Digg.

And then inexplicitly, without reason, @AndyBeal dropped the biggest bombshell in the 86 year history of the Twitter Madness Tourney:

Real Housewives of Orange County

Surely #RHOC doesn’t mean what I think it means, does it?

Not Judging

“Like, oh my Gawd, I gotta go, I just found out @AndyBeal watches our show”

And with that, the Tournament was halted while Twitter Madness officials checked to see if @AndyBeal’s Twitter account had been hacked by a 49 year divorcee from Nebraska. When it was discovered that @AndyBeal had in fact authored that Tweet, the judges made the pronouncement that this tournament could not go on without @AndyBeal for fear that it would miss more stunning revelations. And so with that we had a winner.

Winner: @AndyBeal

To Justin and Jeremiah we bid a fond farewell. To Andy and Scott….LET”S GET IT ON!

To check out the brackets go to @deanshaw Twitter Madness 2013 Brackets

For more info on the tourney check out my 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney Page

@deanshaw 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney: Elite 8 Recap

Twitter Madness Elite 8There’s a tradition in Twitter Madness Tournament play to not talk about the next step until you’ve climbed the one in front of you. I’m sure going to the Sweet 16 is beyond your wildest dreams, so let’s just keep it right there.
Forget about the 140 character limit, the size of their Klout score, their fancy avatars, and remember what got you here. Focus on the fundamentals that we’ve gone over time and time again.
And most important, don’t get caught up thinking about winning or losing this Tourney. If you put your effort and concentration into Tweeting to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don’t care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we’re gonna be winners!
But enough with plagiarizing motivation speeches from Hoosiers and on the Elite 8 Wrap-up

Feature Match-up: @TheFakeESPN v. @unmarketing

Let’s get this out of the way right now, if you are a sports fan with a little bit of cynicism then you have to follow @TheFakeESPN. If you’re just a sports fan, then you have to follow @TheFakeESPN. If your neither a sports fan nor cynical than why the Hell are you even reading this…go to wherever non-cynical non-sports fans go…probably @Oprah


As usual @TheFakeESPN served up a bevy of great fake sports content which is awesome and all but there’s something missing…you know… that engagement stuff…

Fake ESPN Followers

I mean c’mon man, you have 410,080 followers but only follow 49 Twitter accounts?  According to the @deanshaw “WhatAreYouTooGoodForUs” index, @TheFakeESPN scores an embarrassing 8,389.

As for @unmarketing, his “WhatAreYouTooGoodForUs” index is 4.1.  But what about content? Well let’s see what we learned about @unmarketing during this match-up:

  1. He thinks “We Care a Lot” by Faith No More is one of the greatest songs of his generation.  Now, if “his generation” is limited to that one Tuesday back in 1987 then I can probably agree with him.  Other than that, All I can say is ‘We Care a Lot” isn’t even the greatest song by Faith No More.  That honor goes to “Epic”…

Faith No More

  1. He’s down with The Shawshank Redemption
  2. He’s a Blue Jays fan
  3. He understands the impact “The” Gretzky trade had to all of Canada
  4. He clearly understands the importance of the Twitter Madness Tourney

@unmarketing Tweet

Winner: @unmarketing


A now for the rest of the Elite 8 Match-ups…


@GinaMcCrae v. @jowyang:

First there was “The Drive”

The Drive

Then there was “The Fumble”

The Fumble

And now there is another epic fail to add to Cleveland sports lore – The Twumble….or is it the The Twive…oh, I don’t know, but it’s epic!!!

@GinaMcCrae acknowledged her opponent as she has done successfully throughout the Tourney…you know engaging them and all that stuff you’re supposed to do on social media.  But her words were prophetic, and a nod to the black cloud the permanently hangs over Cleveland’s sports landscape

McCrae and the Black Cloud of Cleveland

And so it was, she made the fatal mistake of looking back at her most recently dispatched opponent @frankreed with  a little Bing bashing.

McCrae Looks back

Sadly, I tried looking up “What are the chances of @GinaMcCrae winning this match by looking backward not forwards?” on Bing and I couldn’t find it in the results.

While all this went on @jowyang was his normal workmanlike self, offering a summary of Google’s lame April Fool’s Day pranks and a spreadsheet showing how much time is spent sleeping and working, reminding me of how pathetic my life is. This time around it was enough to dispatch of his rookie rival.

So we must say goodbye to this year’s Cinderella story and let her get back to Cleveland where, if my memory serves me well, probably has a depressing black cloud hanging over it.

Winner: @jowyang


@JustinKownacki v. @SocialMedia411:

During the course of this year’s Twitter Madness Tourney, @SocialMedia has been the class of the field and seemingly this year’s anointed one.  Like Old Faithful , they offered an endless stream of “things that don’t suck”.  From Instagram and Facebook, to Twitter and Vine, if you’re looking for kiss-ass info on social media, this is the only Twitter handle you need to follow

As for @JustinKownacki,  he had music on his mind with nods to Green Day, Notorious B.I.G, Ice Cube and George Clinton  all while questioning the diagnosis of ADHD and crappy PIXAR sequels.  Paraphrasing Forrest Gump – He’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.  But where he scored massive points was on this gem:

pocket-sized bag of nuts

No worries, @JustinKownacki because you will now also be tormented with “Ghost of Final Four Present”

Winner: @JustinKownacki


@kaimac v. @AndyBeal:

In a re-match of last year’s Elite 8 match-up, @kaimac and @AndyBeal once again locked horns to see who would advance to the Final Four.  Last year’s match was a barn-burner and ultimately decided by a series of opportunistic tweets by @kaimac that covered “The Big Three”:  Beer, potatoes, and pie.  @AndyBeal was unable to recover from this brilliant onslaught and was left to utter a string of internet acronyms. It was SOL for @AndyBeal

But that was then and this is now.

Best I could tell @kaimac had two things on his mind: April Fool’s Day and his distrust of Internet reviews.  I don’t know no about the accuracy of all online reviews but I do know that the Select Inn in Minot, ND is the worst hotel on the planet.

As for @AndyBeal, perhaps out of a sense of desperation he was unusually nice to me….and my Mom

@AndyBeal is nice to my Mom

But then got back to the sarcastic Andy I know and love…

@AndyBeal is nice to me

But then went back to “nice” Andy

@AndyBeal is nice to me again

It was all very confusing to me, but in the end, surprisingly effective.

Winner: @AndyBeal


So the Field of Four is set!  Let’s get it on!


To check out the brackets go to @deanshaw Twitter Madness 2013 Brackets

For more info on the tourney check out my 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney Page

@deanshaw 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney: Sweet 16 Recap

Sweet 16

Things are really heating up in the 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney, and by “heating up” I mean no one really gives a shit, except for about half of the remaining contestants. The rest are all, like, “Twitter Madness what?” and “I don’t get it” and “Like I give a rat’s ass.”  So with enthusiasm at an all–time high let’s take a look at the Sweet 16 match-ups and who makes it through to the Elite 8

Featured Match-Up: @adage v. @unmarketing*: 

For the first time in Twitter Madness Tourney history a competitor has tweeted about bacon and lost their match.  The “Bacon Strategy” as it has become to be known, is widely used, often in desperation, but always successfully since the Twitter Madness Tournament started in 1954.  In this case however, @adage chose to bury the tweet amongst an unusual amount of Agency gobbledygook thus minimizing its “Wow!” appeal.


And while @unmarketing was rather quiet during this crucial Sweet 16 match-up, he did take time to post a nifty xtranormal video about Social Media ROI Conversations.  ‘So what?’ you ask? Well I for one appreciate the time it takes to slap one of those together, having done a few myself.  Making it funny or interesting is an even bigger challenge but @unmarketing manages to do both.  Now, was his better than the ones I’ve done?  Well, I’ll let you be the judge of that….

@unmarketing Masterpiece: The Social Media ROI Conversation

@deanshaw Masterpiece: The Adventures of Social Media Guy 

Whichever you prefer, the win goes to the guy who put the “un” into marketing.
Winner: @unmarketing

And now on to the rest of the Sweet 16 Action…

@HubSpot v. @jowyang: So @HubSpot offered a plethora of amazing content that will make you a better online marketer.  @jowyang on the other hand Re-Tweeted one of my blog posts, and showed us he’s not the Super Human we thought he was by screwing up his math:

Bad math

That obvious and intentional display of mathematical miscalculation won my heart.
Winner: @jowyang

@GinaMcCrae v. @frankreed: I’ll have to admit, for a first time Twitter Madness Tourney participant, @GinaMcCrae certainly has swagger, look,for example, at this initial tweet in her match-up with Twitter Madness veteran @FrankReed –


Of course, what @GinaMcCrae doesn’t know is that in the 42 year history of the Twitter Madness Tourney, no one with self-respect has ever won the championship.  That aside, it wasn’t the brashness or self-respect that won @GinaMcCrae this improbably victory, it was the fact that @frankreed only tweeted once.  Talk about no self-respect.
Winner: @GinaMcCrae

@JustinKownacki v. @leeodden: @leeodden tweeted a lot about conferences.  Among other things, @JustinKownacki shared stuff like this:

Battle with Cancer

Somehow conferences don’t seem all that important.
Winner: @JustinKownacki

@SocialMedia411 v. @MicheleJKiss: The Displaced Aussie in Boston/Partner, Web Analytics Demystified/Gadget nerd/Drinker of Apple Kool-Aid was awesome as always, and @SocialMedia411 continued to offer a consistent stream of great info. In the end they ended up in a statistical tie – only the second in the 72 year history of the tournament.  According to Rule 42, Section 8, Paragraph 3 of the Twitter Madness Tourney Rules, the tie goes to the one who has Carl from Caddyshack on their Twitter page. Gunga Galungda
Winner: @SocialMedia411

@jimsterne v. @kaimac: Highlights of @jimsterne during match-up:

  1. Bacon
  2. Two, yes two published articles

3. And this guy:


Highlights of @kaimac during match-up:


Advantage: virtue
Winner: @kaimac

@FYeahAnalytics v. @AndyBeal: And in the Battle Royale of the Sweet Sixteen, @FYeahAnalytics and @AndyBeal traded Twitter Reply’s on subjects that included scary avatars, bacon, and 404 Error pages – a true battle between two Twitter Titans. It was a competition so close I called my Mom for guidance. She told me @AndyBeal was the son she wanted me to be and that other guy had a curse word in his name.
Winner: @andybeal

And now on to the Elite 8

To check out the brackets go to @deanshaw Twitter Madness 2013 Brackets

For more info on the tourney check out my 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney Page

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