Monthly Archives: April 2011
And so it was. What started 3 weeks ago with 64 fierce and determined Twitterers…er….Tweeters…umm..,people on Twitter was slowly whittled down to the best of the best: @SpikeJones and @adrants. They both proved their mettle by beating some big time competition along with some spirited upstarts. And in the end, this competition has been less about crowning a champion as it has been about making 63 enemies. So with other further adieu (I have no idea what adieu means but it makes me look cultured no?) here is a look at the Championship match in the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney
@SpikeJones v. @adrants
In a stunning development that emerged on the eve of the championship match, the nameless, faceless brilliance behind @adrants was revealed to be @stevehall, writer, publisher, cool glasses wearer. With this shocking discovery, @adrants’ dominance through the field of 64 was all of a sudden making sense. This was no the side-project of some snot-nosed Junior Achievement brats, nor the musings of a DeVry University Philosophy Major living in his parent’s basement. This was the real deal. By contrast, @SpikeJones hid behind no alias. He of @BrainsOnFire fame and an accomplished something or other in his own right, including fancy dancy titles at Fleishman-Hilliard. In short, these were no ham n’ eggers, these were true titans at their craft. I also have a sneakin’ suspicion that they can be found at the local waterin’ on any given Friday downing wobbly pops. But enough about that, let’s get to the action.
Tale of the Tape
* Because at the end of the day, it’s all about me
Color Commentary: @adrants
@adrants stuck with the formula that got him to the big dance with clever posts about off the radar news from the field of advertising. If you want RTs of RTs, then follow @chrisbrogan or @mashable or any sycophant that follows @chrisbrogan or @mashable. If you want interesting and amusing takes on interesting and amusing stories @adrants is who you need to follow. One curious strategy was @adrants not mentioning ‘boobs’ during the championship match. It was that savvy move that earned him a spot in the championship game so it showed big coconuts to forgo that proven strategy. He did however slip in a post about ‘Fingers’ and ‘Hot Chick’ which brilliantly distracted me. Also, among his tweets were ‘Food Porn’ and Wonderbra 2.0. In short, @adrants stuck with his game and put in a worthy and consistent performance. If you are not following him, you be crazy in the head yo.
Color Commentary: @SpikeJones
Like @adrants, @SpikeJones stuck with the girl that brung him. And that girl likes poking fun at social media enthusiasts and hipsters. Some of his stronger musings included “It’s a vortex, wrapped in a who gives a flying eff.” And “I still don’t care what you had for lunch.” I really think that if this Digital Marketing thingy dingy doesn’t work out he could make a good living writing bumper sticker slogans, or perhaps punch lines for Snooki. What @SpikeJones doesn’t do, which endears me to him (I don’t mean that in a romantical sense – I’m all man) is that he doesn’t RT the news of the day. I mean seriously, do people really think they were breaking a major headline when they tweeted “Wow, huge tsunami in Japan http://oldne.ws/TyiNgToLoOkSmaRT” 12 hours after it happened. I mean, thanks for the breaking news Brian Williams but I heard about it 154 RTs ago http://LAteToThePar.ty/DiPShiT. I would recommend that you follow @SpikeJones but even he would advise against that. So #unfollow @SpikeJones
I think one of my
million, thousands, hundreds, ok one guy commented:
“I find myself clicking on more @Adrants links then all other twitter accounts combined… hmmm, I wonder why. Plus @Adrants represents on #SoCruise… And @SpikeJones insights on WOM is unbeatable and I enjoy how he pokes at us social media enthusiasts…plus he let me borrow a slide once for a presentation – – this will be a tough one – – but B00bs win!”
I agree 100% with 60% of what this guy say and I don’t envy me and the decision I need to make. If it weren’t for the fact that neither gives a rats a$$ and it’s meaningless accomplishment, I might do what any self-respecting NBA ref or State Senator would do and take a bribe, but alas this is going to have to come down to a gut call. And when I think about guts, I think about eating, and when I think about eating, I think about brisket, and when I think about brisket, I think about Texas, and when I think about Texas, I think about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and when I think about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, I think about football, and when I think about football, I think about touchdowns, and when I think about touchdowns, I think about spiked footballs, and when I think about spiked footballs I think about @SpikeJones.
Winner by the hair of my chinny chin chin: @SpikeJones
Congratulations @SpikeJones, you are the 2011 @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney Champion. That and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee (unless you’re going to Starbucks in which case you’ll need another buck 75).
Congratulation to the runner-up @adrants who will assume the crown should @spikejones be unable to fulfill the requirements of champion. I’m certain that will happen by next Tuesday.
Finally, congratulations to all tourney participants, who all bring value to my twitterstream everyday. I love you all for that, especially you @girlsinyogapants 😉
See you all again in 2012.
And so here it is, the moment all Tweeters dream about when they are little boys, drawing tweets in the sand at recess, dreaming of one day making it the big dance. The Final Four of the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney. Ok , technically the Final Five. Each has circumnavigated the Twittersphere to emerge as the elite of absolute strangers I follow. Each represents all that is good and non-douchy about the medium. And while each brings their own unique style to the Twitter feed they all have something they share…oh screw it…let’s look at the results…
@SpikeJones v. @Justinkownacki / @mtkgdouchebag There’s a code in the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney. And that code is “don’t hunt elephants.” Fortunately, none of the participants in this match did that as far as I can tell. Now I am sure @SpikeJones has probably hit the odd Armadillo in his stagecoach in Austin, and I am certain @JustinKownacki probably has taken out some polar bears in Erie, PA with a snowball launcher. But this is a lot different than grabbing a high powered rifle, hiding in the bushes, taking down a majestic pachyderm in the dead of night, and then celebrating by making the event a branding opportunity. Now listen, I like elephant meat as much as the next guy but seriously @BobParsons, Not. Cool.
But on to the business at hand…@mktgdouchebag and @justinkownacki took their alliance into the final four hoping that they could rope-a-dope the wiley @SpikeJones with a combination of sarcasm, poignant observation, and web TV episodes (if you haven’t seen the @TheBaristasTV stop reading this now and check it out..err…I mean finish reading this and then go check it out). Perhaps distracted by you know things more important than Twitter @JustinKownacki was surprisingly disengaged during the match which left @mktgdouchebag left to lead the charge. While fighting gallantly for two days he made one critical error – apologizing to hipsters. There is only one time when it’s ok to apologize to hipsters, and that time is…never. I mean I never heard anyone apologize to me when I was sportin’ parachute pants and a Flock of Seagulls ‘do back in the…er…I mean…ummm…nevermind. @SpikeJones bravely (foolishly? Who knows, it’s such a fine line) faced the two-headed monster with defiance, refusing to let @mktgdouchebag back out of the handicap match when the offer was made. He stuck with his game plan – offer a little value as possible, and provoke the shit out of social media enthusiasts. Sounds like a winning combination to me.
For staring down the tag team champions and even dropping a ‘Frankie Goes to Hollywood’ reference…
@Adrants v. @SocialMedia411 In the battle of the faceless, nameless twitter accounts (I mean that’s what social media is all about right) two twitter behemoths squared off in the arena of 140 characters. For most of the tourney, @SocialMedia411 steamrolled over their competition and look unstoppable, leaving a wake of twitter destruction behind them. But the Twitter Madness Tourney is a fickle mistress, unforgiving of even the smallest miscalculation. As so it was, that while @SocialMedia411 seemed destined for Tourney greatness, they lost focus for a split second and tweeted this uncharacteristic gaffe:
“Thinking of taking next week off just to see if anybody notices @SocialMedia411 missing from their stream.”
This bizarre sense of self-importance resulted in a 4,000 point Douchebag deduction, as anyone who thinks that they would ever be missed on Twitter has either a ginormous ego or a twisted sense of reality. Let’s be clear, no one is ever missed on Twitter, not even you @SocialMedia411. As for @adrants, they tweeted about boobs…..twice. Advantage @adrants
So there you have it. After 62 matches, it all comes down to this. The irresistible force vs. the immovable object. The city slicker vs. the lonesome cowboy. The ranter vs. ummmm…the ranter. C’mon boys, it’s game time! #BringIt