Category Archives: Social Media
Well it’s that time of year again when gurus, thought leaders, know-it-alls, and your Uncle Jerry all make their predictions for 2014. Never mind the fact that they were completely wrong about their 2013 predictions, this is a new year and a brand new chance to be completely off-base.
So why should I be any different? And unlike Uncle Jerry, I can give you my stone-cold guarantee that my predictions are 100% accurate*:
- An area teenager will discover with bewilderment that his mobile device can be used to make phone calls.
- Some blogger will do a “Five Things Marketers
can Learn from 2014 Predictions Lists” post.
- CDC scientists will be stumped when a YouTube video on ‘bacterial infection’ goes viral.
- Chaos will erupt on Facebook when someone posts the comment “Damn, that’s one ugly baby” to a newborn’s pic.
- Marketers will find a way to fuck up Instagram.
- Google will offer to buy a new social network for $87B. The 24 y/o founder will reel in disgust at the low-ball offer.
- Scooby & the gang will rip the mask off Eric Snowden to reveal its really Mark Zuckerberg in disguise.
- Your Internet Explorer browser will crash 47 times.
- “That Guy” will carry on a loud 4 hour phone conversation on the red eye flight because the FAA said he could.
- The History Channel will launch the reality show “Searching for Blackberry User”.
- 2014 will be the 13th Anniversary of “This is the Year of Mobile”.
- Your wife will erase all the episodes of ‘The Walking Dead’ from your DVR to make room for the new season of ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’.
- Based on their surveillance efforts, the NSA will publish a book called “The 100 Most Boring People in America”. I will be #46.
- A Millennial will be in tears when she finds out her great performance review doesn’t come with a trophy.
- No worries, her helicopter Mom will buy her one.
- Some “Analyst” on CNBC, who’s never even started a lemonade stand, will opine on what Twitter needs to do next to stay relevant.
- Someone will actually fall for the ol’ Nigerian Prince email scam.
- Teens will flee Snapchat upon seeing their Dads posting selfies on the social network.
- Twitter will launch a new platform targeted to politicians that will have a 50,000 character limit.
- Someone will say something on Twitter that will offend somebody somewhere. Society will wring their hands in disgust until 2 days later when someone else says something on Twitter that will offend somebody somewhere else.
- My Mom will still think a ‘blog’ is a monster from a 1950’s B-horror movie.
- “That douchebag” at the conference will hog all the outlets.
- A local Starbucks will face a social media crisis when ‘that weird guy who never buys anything’ complains about the slow Wi-Fi in the store to his 37 followers.
- Social Media gurus will blast Starbucks for their response to ‘that weird guy who never buys anything’ and explain how they would have handled it.
- The kids in waiting in line to catch the opening of The Hunger Games will mock the kids waiting in line to get the new iPhone.
So there you have it, my digital predictions for 2014. I hope you all have a predictably prosperous new year!
* 60% of the time
Recently, Mitch Joel (@mitchjoel) & Chris Brogan (@chrisbrogan) talked about their disappointment and frustration on the state of social media marketing. In The Depressing State of Social Media Marketing”, Mitch said companies were missing the opportunity to create real relationships with their audiences in favor of adding to the noise that exists on social channels. In “The Bare Truth About Social Media Marketing”, a shirtless and rakishly handsome Chris Brogan, lamented that brands are just being too mechanical and “chirping out blather to elicit responses or likes, but with no follow-up, no next steps, no actual business intent. Just… faux interaction.”
The truth is that they are both right.
With that, I guess I’m surprised that Mitch and Chris are surprised at the state of social media marketing. While it’s easy to look from the outside and say “Why are they doing this?”, “How come they are not doing that?”, “They should be doing a better job about this”. “They don’t get it”. The fact is you’re dealing with organizations, and organization have “friction“, lots and lots of friction. Friction is the thing that prevents companies from achieving the idealistic nirvana that from the outside seems simple, obvious, and necessary.
Some examples of corporate friction?
Unlike last year’s tournament where a Cinderella in the form of @1918 stormed the Final Four, this year’s event featured some true heavyweights of the Twitter-sphere. The question on everyone’s mind is who will join @spikejones and @jimsterne in the hallowed hall of the Twitter Madness infamy. Each of the Final Four contestants would be worthy champions but alas just won will receive the honor of saying “Twitter Madness Tourney? I have no clue what you’re talking about.” But before we get to the championship we must first determine the combatants. Let’s go to the Final Four Summary…
@unmarketing v. @jowyang:
The early favorite in this match had to be @jowyang given his experience in the Twitter Madness event. In fact it was just last year that Jeremiah battle tweet-to-tweet with eventual champion Jim Sterne in an epic match-up so surely his mettle is well tested in this arena.
During his match-up @jowyang went with the “Travelogue Strategy” last seen in the 1972 Twitter Madness Tourney and we followed Jeremiahs travel to New York. Some of the things we learned were:
- He had a bunch of meetings
- He either meditates or medicates depending on whether you believe him or his auto-correct
- The World Trade Center looks magnificent – so eff you terrorists!
- He had some more meetings
- The AT&T building is designed to withstand a nuclear attack – and probably angry customers I assume
- People in Colorado speak the most normal…or is it Ohio…whatever.
- More meetings
- Sushi chefs spend waaaaaaay too much time learning their craft
- It takes 5,100 gallons of fuel to fly from NYC to SF just slightly more than what a Hummer uses going to the other side of town.
In all a rather pedestrian performance by the Altimeter Man. Frankly I woulda cut my trip short so that I could focus on the Tourney but whatevs
So what about @unmarketing ? Could he topple last year’s Tourney Runner up? What did we learn from Scott during the match-up?
- He’s a lawbreaker. A nice lawbreaker but a lawbreaker nonetheless (FWIW, only would a Canadian compliment the cop that pulled him over)
- He offered his insight on what happens when you unsubscribe from an email list
- He shared a follower’s insight on QR Code strategy
- He provided an analysis of Microsoft’s Retail presence.
- He finished off with a video of 5 Year-Old Jonah Rocking out on a System of a Down drum cover
Yes Jonah, you rock! But you know who else rocks? @unmarketing, that’s who.
@JustinKownacki v. @AndyBeal:
A battle of two Twitter Madness Tourney veterans. One “Armchair sociologist & perpetual contrarian”, the other CEO of @Trackur, founder of @MarketingPilgrm. Loves the ukulele, taekwo….what? Plays the ukulele? Oh let’s check that out. I suggest turning the speakers to 11 while reading the remainder of this post
So @JustinKownacki of the Erie, Pennsylvania Kownackis is always a though provoking observer of his surroundings. He almost didn’t even qualify for the tournament because I suspect his intellect is too high, but then I remembered he was from Erie, PA, the same town as my good pal @ToddAllen9 and he’s pretty much an idiot so I figured how smart could this Justin guy really be. But back to the task at hand, Justin started as he normally does poking his followers with tweet like this:
And ya know he’s got a point…in fact I think I taking tomorrow off.
He also wisely observed:
I’ll throw in people with clean offices, whassup wit dat?
But then he went all intellectual on us again:
I mean I love bedeviled eggs as much as the next guy but what does that have to do with electronics? But he eventually brought himself back with a well-timed burrito reference:
But then went right back to the intellectual stuff quoting, of course Nabokov, who is, of course, the back-up goaltender for the New York Islanders
So, in typical @JustinKownacki style he gave you mixed bag ranging from the ridiculous to the sublime, from the highbrow to the low brow…ok….I don’t even know what that means.
Now what of @AndyBeal, he of the indiscernible accent, what was he up to during this critical match-up…
Once again he was up to his old tricks, vacillating between over the top compliments to me, the Owner and Commissioner of the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney and downright jabs to my character. His bait and switch strategy has worked in the past, but would that continue?
He started by concurring with @FYeahAnalytics on the integrity of the Tourney itself..
Well, I never….
Then he mixed in some stuff about Mobile Ads and LinkedIn…
Then figuring he’d done enough for one day went to go see the Carolina Hurricanes get beat again with 108 of his closest friends.
The funny thing is that I really believe only 108 people showed up for the game cuz those Hurricanes are
Then he jumped back to his compliments:
And then either insulted me or complimented me, I don’t have a clue <mental note: ask @JustinKownacki, he’ll know):
And then he went back to some stuff like ‘reputation management’ and Digg.
And then inexplicitly, without reason, @AndyBeal dropped the biggest bombshell in the 86 year history of the Twitter Madness Tourney:
Surely #RHOC doesn’t mean what I think it means, does it?
And with that, the Tournament was halted while Twitter Madness officials checked to see if @AndyBeal’s Twitter account had been hacked by a 49 year divorcee from Nebraska. When it was discovered that @AndyBeal had in fact authored that Tweet, the judges made the pronouncement that this tournament could not go on without @AndyBeal for fear that it would miss more stunning revelations. And so with that we had a winner.
To Justin and Jeremiah we bid a fond farewell. To Andy and Scott….LET”S GET IT ON!
To check out the brackets go to @deanshaw Twitter Madness 2013 Brackets
For more info on the tourney check out my 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney Page
There’s a tradition in Twitter Madness Tournament play to not talk about the next step until you’ve climbed the one in front of you. I’m sure going to the Sweet 16 is beyond your wildest dreams, so let’s just keep it right there.
Forget about the 140 character limit, the size of their Klout score, their fancy avatars, and remember what got you here. Focus on the fundamentals that we’ve gone over time and time again.
And most important, don’t get caught up thinking about winning or losing this Tourney. If you put your effort and concentration into Tweeting to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don’t care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we’re gonna be winners!
But enough with plagiarizing motivation speeches from Hoosiers and on the Elite 8 Wrap-up
Feature Match-up: @TheFakeESPN v. @unmarketing
Let’s get this out of the way right now, if you are a sports fan with a little bit of cynicism then you have to follow @TheFakeESPN. If you’re just a sports fan, then you have to follow @TheFakeESPN. If your neither a sports fan nor cynical than why the Hell are you even reading this…go to wherever non-cynical non-sports fans go…probably @Oprah
As usual @TheFakeESPN served up a bevy of great fake sports content which is awesome and all but there’s something missing…you know… that engagement stuff…
I mean c’mon man, you have 410,080 followers but only follow 49 Twitter accounts? According to the @deanshaw “WhatAreYouTooGoodForUs” index, @TheFakeESPN scores an embarrassing 8,389.
As for @unmarketing, his “WhatAreYouTooGoodForUs” index is 4.1. But what about content? Well let’s see what we learned about @unmarketing during this match-up:
- He thinks “We Care a Lot” by Faith No More is one of the greatest songs of his generation. Now, if “his generation” is limited to that one Tuesday back in 1987 then I can probably agree with him. Other than that, All I can say is ‘We Care a Lot” isn’t even the greatest song by Faith No More. That honor goes to “Epic”…
- He’s down with The Shawshank Redemption
- He’s a Blue Jays fan
- He understands the impact “The” Gretzky trade had to all of Canada
- He clearly understands the importance of the Twitter Madness Tourney
A now for the rest of the Elite 8 Match-ups…
@GinaMcCrae v. @jowyang:
First there was “The Drive”
Then there was “The Fumble”
And now there is another epic fail to add to Cleveland sports lore – The Twumble….or is it the The Twive…oh, I don’t know, but it’s epic!!!
@GinaMcCrae acknowledged her opponent as she has done successfully throughout the Tourney…you know engaging them and all that stuff you’re supposed to do on social media. But her words were prophetic, and a nod to the black cloud the permanently hangs over Cleveland’s sports landscape
And so it was, she made the fatal mistake of looking back at her most recently dispatched opponent @frankreed with a little Bing bashing.
Sadly, I tried looking up “What are the chances of @GinaMcCrae winning this match by looking backward not forwards?” on Bing and I couldn’t find it in the results.
While all this went on @jowyang was his normal workmanlike self, offering a summary of Google’s lame April Fool’s Day pranks and a spreadsheet showing how much time is spent sleeping and working, reminding me of how pathetic my life is. This time around it was enough to dispatch of his rookie rival.
So we must say goodbye to this year’s Cinderella story and let her get back to Cleveland where, if my memory serves me well, probably has a depressing black cloud hanging over it.
@JustinKownacki v. @SocialMedia411:
During the course of this year’s Twitter Madness Tourney, @SocialMedia has been the class of the field and seemingly this year’s anointed one. Like Old Faithful , they offered an endless stream of “things that don’t suck”. From Instagram and Facebook, to Twitter and Vine, if you’re looking for kiss-ass info on social media, this is the only Twitter handle you need to follow
As for @JustinKownacki, he had music on his mind with nods to Green Day, Notorious B.I.G, Ice Cube and George Clinton all while questioning the diagnosis of ADHD and crappy PIXAR sequels. Paraphrasing Forrest Gump – He’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. But where he scored massive points was on this gem:
No worries, @JustinKownacki because you will now also be tormented with “Ghost of Final Four Present”
@kaimac v. @AndyBeal:
In a re-match of last year’s Elite 8 match-up, @kaimac and @AndyBeal once again locked horns to see who would advance to the Final Four. Last year’s match was a barn-burner and ultimately decided by a series of opportunistic tweets by @kaimac that covered “The Big Three”: Beer, potatoes, and pie. @AndyBeal was unable to recover from this brilliant onslaught and was left to utter a string of internet acronyms. It was SOL for @AndyBeal
But that was then and this is now.
Best I could tell @kaimac had two things on his mind: April Fool’s Day and his distrust of Internet reviews. I don’t know no about the accuracy of all online reviews but I do know that the Select Inn in Minot, ND is the worst hotel on the planet.
As for @AndyBeal, perhaps out of a sense of desperation he was unusually nice to me….and my Mom
But then got back to the sarcastic Andy I know and love…
But then went back to “nice” Andy
It was all very confusing to me, but in the end, surprisingly effective.
So the Field of Four is set! Let’s get it on!
To check out the brackets go to @deanshaw Twitter Madness 2013 Brackets
For more info on the tourney check out my 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney Page
Things are really heating up in the 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney, and by “heating up” I mean no one really gives a shit, except for about half of the remaining contestants. The rest are all, like, “Twitter Madness what?” and “I don’t get it” and “Like I give a rat’s ass.” So with enthusiasm at an all–time high let’s take a look at the Sweet 16 match-ups and who makes it through to the Elite 8
Featured Match-Up: @adage v. @unmarketing*:
For the first time in Twitter Madness Tourney history a competitor has tweeted about bacon and lost their match. The “Bacon Strategy” as it has become to be known, is widely used, often in desperation, but always successfully since the Twitter Madness Tournament started in 1954. In this case however, @adage chose to bury the tweet amongst an unusual amount of Agency gobbledygook thus minimizing its “Wow!” appeal.
And while @unmarketing was rather quiet during this crucial Sweet 16 match-up, he did take time to post a nifty xtranormal video about Social Media ROI Conversations. ‘So what?’ you ask? Well I for one appreciate the time it takes to slap one of those together, having done a few myself. Making it funny or interesting is an even bigger challenge but @unmarketing manages to do both. Now, was his better than the ones I’ve done? Well, I’ll let you be the judge of that….
@unmarketing Masterpiece: The Social Media ROI Conversation
@deanshaw Masterpiece: The Adventures of Social Media Guy
Whichever you prefer, the win goes to the guy who put the “un” into marketing.
And now on to the rest of the Sweet 16 Action…
@HubSpot v. @jowyang: So @HubSpot offered a plethora of amazing content that will make you a better online marketer. @jowyang on the other hand Re-Tweeted one of my blog posts, and showed us he’s not the Super Human we thought he was by screwing up his math:
That obvious and intentional display of mathematical miscalculation won my heart.
@GinaMcCrae v. @frankreed: I’ll have to admit, for a first time Twitter Madness Tourney participant, @GinaMcCrae certainly has swagger, look,for example, at this initial tweet in her match-up with Twitter Madness veteran @FrankReed –
Of course, what @GinaMcCrae doesn’t know is that in the 42 year history of the Twitter Madness Tourney, no one with self-respect has ever won the championship. That aside, it wasn’t the brashness or self-respect that won @GinaMcCrae this improbably victory, it was the fact that @frankreed only tweeted once. Talk about no self-respect.
@JustinKownacki v. @leeodden: @leeodden tweeted a lot about conferences. Among other things, @JustinKownacki shared stuff like this:
Somehow conferences don’t seem all that important.
@SocialMedia411 v. @MicheleJKiss: The Displaced Aussie in Boston/Partner, Web Analytics Demystified/Gadget nerd/Drinker of Apple Kool-Aid was awesome as always, and @SocialMedia411 continued to offer a consistent stream of great info. In the end they ended up in a statistical tie – only the second in the 72 year history of the tournament. According to Rule 42, Section 8, Paragraph 3 of the Twitter Madness Tourney Rules, the tie goes to the one who has Carl from Caddyshack on their Twitter page. Gunga Galungda
@jimsterne v. @kaimac: Highlights of @jimsterne during match-up:
- Two, yes two published articles
3. And this guy:
Highlights of @kaimac during match-up:
@FYeahAnalytics v. @AndyBeal: And in the Battle Royale of the Sweet Sixteen, @FYeahAnalytics and @AndyBeal traded Twitter Reply’s on subjects that included scary avatars, bacon, and 404 Error pages – a true battle between two Twitter Titans. It was a competition so close I called my Mom for guidance. She told me @AndyBeal was the son she wanted me to be and that other guy had a curse word in his name.
And now on to the Elite 8
To check out the brackets go to @deanshaw Twitter Madness 2013 Brackets
For more info on the tourney check out my 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney Page
Round 2 Summary
The competition heated up in round 2 of the 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney as the participants vied for a coveted spot in the Sweet Sixteen. It was a round full of twist and turns and the first ever “double elimination”. Yes two competitors were so equally horrible that I eliminated both of them. To fill the void I made the unprecedented move to grant the much desired spot to a loser in another match-up. They don’t call it Twitter Madness for nothing. Let this be a lesson to the field
of sixteen. If you commit Twitter atrocities during this tournament you not only disrespect me, but you disrespect your country, the Corps, and your Mama.
For the winners, see you in the Sweet Sixteen. For the Losers, grab your bags and go home!
Featured Match-up: @mental_floss v. @jimsterne
Let’s just get the record straight, you don’t become the Twitter Madness Champion by being some ham ‘n’ egger with a Twitter account. It takes all kind of social savvy and digital acumen to reach the Twitter Madness Tourney mountain top. So it’s not surprising, that @jimsterne played his second round match-up like a fiddle, nay, a Stradivarius. So what did he do right this time?
- He re-tweeted my wrap-up from Round 1 and acknowledge that in doing so he violated Tweet Type 3 in my List of 27 Tweet Types
- He mentioned “poop” in a tweet.
- He dropped some of his own content on us with “Analytics Misery Loves Company”
- And if that wasn’t enough, he re-tweeted a linked to my presentation at the upcoming #eMetrics Conference. I hope I’ll see all of you there!
And now let’s take a look at the other exciting match-ups…
@FastCompany v. @spikejones: FastCompany is most certainly a firehouse of great content that they tweet day and night, night and day. It’s a virtually ongoing education on business, technology…and pandas apparently. But you know that person you meet at a party that corners you and drones on and on, endlessly about a bunch of shit you just don’t care that much about and you just want to punch him in the face and tell him to shut the fuck up. That person is FastCompany. They tweeted a total of 134 times in the 2 day match-up with @spikejones. As for Spike, he tweeted a mere 8 times and said something about zombies and hating you. Advantage: Spike Jones
@unmarketing v. @TheFakeESPN: If you’re a sports fan you should definitely be following the always funny @TheFakeESPN. As a bonus they have an picture of bacon on their Twitter page – and nothing scores points in the Twitter Madness Tourney quite like bacon. On the other side is @unmarketing who is self-admittedly “kind of a big deal on a fairly irrelevant soc media site which inflates his self-importance.” Bacon wins. Bacon always wins.
@adage v. @1918: Phil, why dost thou beseech me? Last year’s Tournament Cinderella could only muster up a couple tweets in the 2nd round match-up against Ad Age. That was meager enough to hand the win to @adage
@ovrdrv v. @TheFakeCNN: I never thought it would be possible for both sides to lose but the performance of @ovrdrv AND @TheFakeESPN was so underwhelming it was impossible to determine a winner. So, in an unprecedented move the Commissioner has ruled that both will be bounced from the tournament and @unmarketing who lost to a picture of bacon will be granted a second chance. The Commissioner also announced that “Raspberry-Frosted Pop-Tarts are friggin’ awesome.” Film at 11.
@HubSpot v. @AudienceCreator: Twitter madness Tourney Rookie tweeted something about “hidden bacteria lurking on your mobile device just as I was taking a big lick off my iPhone. Not cool @AudienceCreator. Not. Cool.
@jowyang v. @webby2001: In my Twitter Madness Tourney Rules I forgot to mention one very important point: “not feeling an ounce of guilt for loving Ambrosia” disqualifies you from the competition. Sorry @webby2001, that’s just how much I feel.
@GinaMcCrae v. @chuckhemann: The brash rookie from Cleveland continued her aggressive play in round two even poking her nose into the @FYeahAnalytics v. @erictpeterson match-up. But she made an almost fatal mistake late in the match-up when she actually tweeted the term “Mmm duhLISH” sensing she’d really fucked up she quickly followed that up with a tweet about “Pancakewiches” which acted as the antidote to her previous misstep. As for @chuckhemann, he spent the first part of the match traveling and then pissed me of by tweeting about being at Ruth’s Chris Steak House and eating apple tarts.
@frankreed v. @DavidBThomas: Frank started strong out of the gate tweeting about cheese and doughnuts and then gave us the history of Internet Meme’s. As for @DavidBThomas he offered up only a couple tweets during the match-up, but to be honest, he’s at his most brilliant on Facebook, check him out there!
@JustinKownacki v. @cnmoody: There are times I wished @JustinKownacki would just wear a GoPro video camera so I could follow him around all day. Granted he uses a lot of fancy words sometimes and is way smarter than me, but the tweets I do understand and his observations on everyday live are pure gold. Nothing wrong with you @cnmoody, you just ran up against a tough Twitter hombre this time <mental note: ask @JustinKownacki what ‘hombre” means>.
@SeinfeldToday v. @leeodden: Would 4 measly tweets from the always brilliant @SeinfeldToday be enough to topple the Online Marketing Master? Not this time Jerry. What is the deal with that?
@avinash v. @SocialMedia411: @avinash is one of the most renowned practitioners in my field of analytics and I love him like a brother, but following @SocialMedia411 is like getting a free education in new media.
@GinnySkal v. @MicheleJKiss: @GinnySkal (why do I always read that as SkinnyGal?) is a force of nature here in the Triangle but she has two passions I can’t get with, cats and Pat Sajak. Fortunately for @MicheleJKiss she only shares one of those passions…unless she would like to publicly declare her love for Mr. Sajak????? Barring a last minute admission, the edge here goes to @MicheleJKiss
@iowahawkblog v. @kaimac: OK, I’ll be honest here. @kaimac wins because I’m tired of @iowahawkblog’s right wing crap and because Brooklyn Brutus is the wind beneath @kaimac’s wings
@FYeahAnalytics v. @erictpeterson: In a stunning development, @FYeahAnalytics wins by forfeit as @erictpeterson declares that “Twitter is not a game”
@mitchjoel v. @AndyBeal: I just talked to my Mom on the phone. She said that @AndyBeal is the son she wanted me to be, so I guess he wins this round. It helps that @mitchjoel only tweeted 3 times during the match-up 😉
So there you have it, the Sweet 16 of the 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney. Good luck to all and to all a good night!
Ya know who should win the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney this year? Me, that’s who. I mean this on-going monitoring and analysis of my brackets is a freakin’ pain in the ass. But alas, I am barred from participating in the event because of my overwhelming advantage.
So, the 1st round is in the books and as expected there we’re some stunning upsets. That’s the beauty of this tournament you don’t have to be a “Rock Star” or “Ninja” or even a “Guru”. You can be just a regular old hack like @andybeal and still advance in Twitter Madness. All you need is some interesting or clever tweets and you can have your own “One Shining Moment” My GAWD that song is horrible.
Let’s take a look at my in depth analysis that I just wasted 3 hours on and see who’s in and who’s out…
FEATURE MATCH-UP: @chrisbrogan v. @GinaMcCrae
It always warms the cockles of my heart when I see a virtual unknown embrace the Twitter Madness Tourney and step up to the plate oblivious to the challenge that lay ahead. Such was the case in the epic 1st Round match-up we saw in McCrae vs. Brogan. In a Titanic upset the wunderkind David from Cleveland upset the Goliath of all things Twitter. The Tourney newbie seemed un-intimidated and play surprisingly well by mocking my tourney. A ballsy move by the Twitter Tourney diaper dandy.
Not to be openly mocked @deanshaw mocks the mocker:
McCrae brilliantly followed my mock of her mock with another mock, pulling off the first ever double-mock meme in the history of the tournament
As for Chris, he ain’t got time fo dat.
And now a summary of the other exciting matchups…
@FastCompany v. @mikewhitmore: Fast Company’s tweet barrage (almost 200 unique in total) was way too much for Former digital anthropologist, entrepreneur, husband, blogger, musician, professional speaker, networker & Nutella lover
@spikejones v. @jtobin: While Jim brought an interesting NCAA Bracket based on Twitter presence the wily Spike Jones let others do the talking for him while he spoke at some Word of Mouth thingy dingy. Talk about advocacy!
@unmarketing v. @jamieplesser: Like @spikejones, @unmarketing let his audience speak for him including quoting him on this gem “The difference between a person with 7 years retail experience and 1 year, is the person with 7 years hates people more.” Since I’ll probably shamelessly steal that I may as well give him entre to the next round.
@TheFakeESPN v. @SmallsMeasures: Tough matchup for Smalls and @TheFakeESPN didn’t choke it away
Winner: @The FakeESPN
@adage v. @HelenASPopkin: Could Ad Age AND Helen Popkin both forgotten about their matchup? A decidedly underwhelming performance by both goes to Ad Age for including Oreos and Kit Kats n the same tweet.
@unbounce v. @1918: In the best match-up of the day, last year’s tournament darling @1918 stood toe to toe with the Canadian un-bounce advocates. When the match ended in a statistical tie, I had to go to the rules books which clearly states in Rule 219, Article 3 that “in the event of a statistical tie, the win will be awarded to the person who tweets about BBQ the most.”
@JudahWorldChamp v. @ovrdrv: Both competitors played sloppy twittering but OverDrive was less bad than Judah.
@TheFakeCNN v. @CoreyCreed: The Fake CNN is just way too funny in thi matchup and beat out the Internet Marketing Guru
@HubSpot v. @SquareJawMedia: SquareJaw can only muscle out 4 tweets and gets buried by an avalanche of HubSpot informational goodness
@anjeanettec v. @AudienceCreator: Audience Creator won by default as the comedy of Anjeanette took an unfortunate hiatus during the matchup
@jowyang v. @digitalalex: Wait, I wonder if Digital Alex was hanging with @anjeanettec the past few days as he was curiously absent from his matchup with @jowyang
@webby2001 v. @glenngabe: Another close battle, with Webby edging out Gabe because of some original content and I think he said something about brisket.
@chuckhemann v. @RudiShumpert: Are you effing kidding me Shumpert? I give you entre into the biggest Twitter Tournament on the planet and you tweet 4 times including a RT and one mentioning Klout? I can’t wait to see you at eMetrics so I can give you a piece of my mind…and a drink…I recall I owe you a drink.
@MarkRaganCEO v. @frankreed: Wait…what??? MarkRaganCEO didn’t even tweet during his matchup? Are you kidding me? Are you getting your Tourney advice from @RudiShumprt or something???
@DavidBThomas v. @Cole_Watts: Dave Thomas started off using the “I’ll just be the scribe for @ToddWheatland” tweet strategy which hasn’t been used in over 45 years, and just when I was about to vanquish him to the loser pile he said something about a coupon for ‘Critter Removal”
@TheOnion v. @JustinKownacki: I knee jerk reaction was to just give this to @TheOnion, but Justin’s observations on everyday life were just to good…and always are.
@cnmoody v. @stevehall: Moody plays small but comes up big. Sometimes less is more.
@SeinfeldToday v. @carlsonjill: I guess Jill didn’t want to come out to play. Seinfeld wins by default
@leeodden v. @JayDolan: Lee wasn’t at his best but he was good enough to slip by at Jay kid.
@avinash v. @awarenessinc: Two legendary competitors stumbled during their matchup but @Avinash said something about the snooze button…and I freaking LOVE the snooze button.
@SocialMedia411 v. @mktgdouchebag: Despite passing along a great video with David Bowie and Sonic Youth and a FREAKING great Social Media Strategy Generator , the Social Media 411 wins based on volume of great content
@dmscott v. @GinnySkal: In another big upset, @GinnySkal squeaks out a victory over the heavily favored @dmscott despite picking Marquette to go all the way in the NCAA Tournament
@gemise v. @MicheleJKiss: @gemise violated Tweet Type 3 too many times and was disqualified
@mental_floss v. @coreyspencer: Apparently @coreyspencer is a Canadian living in Utah who LIKES movies, comic books, video games, digital marketing and analytics, but LOVES his sweet wife and 3 insane little boys but DOESN’T tweet during the Twitter Madness Tourney
@jeffreylcohen v. @jimsterne: Last year’s Twitter Madness Tourney Champion wins because if he doesn’t he’ll throw another pox on my house and because I’m scared he’ll beat me up at next month’s eMetrics Conference.
@iowahawkblog v. @zachward: Ya know how I said I follow some people cuz they piss me off? @iowahawkblog is one of those people and yet he advances to the next round. WTF is wrong with me?
@badbanana v. @kaimac: @BadBanana picked the wrong time to be bad. @kaimac advances
@wwwbigbaldhead v. @FYeahAnalytics: I had high hopes for my favorite zombie killer but apparently slaying the dead doesn’t mean slaying the Twitter competition.
@lruettimann v. @erictpeterson: Eric has blocked me from seeing his Tweets and has disavowed the Twitter Madness Tourney altogether. A savvy show of reverse psychology if ever I saw one – and for that he advances to the next round.
@mitchjoel v. @OMLee: Despite a killer Hot Dog Baseball Salary calculator that @OMLee offered to the world, Mitch wins due to his Canadianess.
@AndyBeal v. @johnlovett: You’re in the Twitter Madness Tourney and you only tweet once??? John you have disrespected your country, the Corps, and your Momma.
Congrats to the winners, you’re on to the 2nd round and even tougher competition. For the losers, go on home and cry to your Mammys.
To check out the brackets go to: http://challonge.com/TwitterMadness2013
Hey folks, chances are you are headed to the latest greatest new media/social media/digital marketing conference sometime soon where gurus, ninjas, rock stars, and mavens of the industry will tell you the same bullshit they told you last year. But to make everything sound new they are going to wrap that same old shit in brand new monikers. And let’s face it, if you don’t know the lingo, your peers are going to laugh at you, and your chances to be taken seriously will be greatly impaired. So, after weeks of research I have assembled the definitive list of terms to look out for in 2012, while you traverse the country attending these
various wastes of time valuable events. And in order to make it interesting for you I have assembled all these terms on a convenient and fun to play BINGO card.
So be sure to bring this along to your next conference. The rules are easy, the more terms you cross-off at your next conference as they are mentioned, the more bullshit you’re being bamboozled with. If, by chance, you should happen to fill in the entire card, well, then you’re probably at SXSW.
As a boy growing up in Winnipeg, Manitoba, I had dreams. Dreams of scoring the winning goal in the Stanley Cup finals, dreams of one day walking on the moon, dreams of starring alongside Goldie Hawn in a badly produced romantic comedy, and dreams of one day winning the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney. But alas those dreams were derailed by poor skating skills, a moth-balled space program, a shortcoming in Hollywood good-looks, and ineligibility to participate in my own Twitter Tourney. Just as the stars aligned against me, they shot beacons of hope to 64 competitors in this year’s tournament. One by one those stars dimmed until there were just two remaining challengers for this year’s crown.
The last Tweeters standing are @jowyang and @jimsterne. They both showed the mettle, endurance, and acumen over each of their opponents to meet here in the Twitter Madness Final. As legends in their respective fields this promised to be a rock ‘em sock ‘em final. Let’s go to the action shall we?
Tale of the Tape
Color Commentary: @jowyang
Jeremiah showed his usual consistency during the final, bringing the noise AND the funk. He appeared to say “This is who I am, take me or leave me” This was a surprisingly courageous strategy given that this was likely the most important two days of tweeting in his life. But he showed amazing poise as he offered up some great tweets including:
Which revealed some amazingly funny (and real) corporate URLs like:
* Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at http://www.expertsexchange.com
* Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at http://www.penisland.net
* Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… http://www.powergenitalia.com
The snarky but insightful:
And alerting us to a new search engine that no one will ever use:
He was really focused and effective until…
In a jaw-dropping twitter meltdown, Jeremiah became distracted by an iPhone glitch that derailed the intense focus that had become his hallmark. By the time the issue was resolved, the buzzer had sounded on his Twitter Madness Championship. But did he do enough to win?
Color Commentary: @jimsterne
Unlike Jeremiah, Jim took an opposite tact for the final, and in chameleon-like fashion departed from his normal web/social media measurement focus to go “all in” on the Twitter Madness Tourney. At much risk to his legion of Twitter followers, who undoubtedly thought Jim had fallen off the Tweet wagon, Jim mixed in a heavy dose of content targeting the championship that he knew was needed to win the competition and gain true social media credibility.
So in addition to his normal tweet programming, Jim surgically addressed my blog post “The Complete List of 25 Tweet Types” posting examples of each type of tweet douchebaggery with amazing accuracy.
So it would seem obvious that this would cement a victory for the metrics man right? Well, actually not really. How’s that for suspense?
Ok, ya see folks, the thing with this Twitter stuff is that it’s all really just an endless stream of blather with a shelf life of about 10 sec. before it evaporates into the digital ether. You can talk about “influence” and “engagement”, and God forbid, “Klout” all you want, but in the end all that stuff is just bullshit. “Real” engagement doesn’t happen here in the digital world – it happens at your work, on your campus, on the field, in the grocery store, and at home. That’s were real connections are made. So put down your laptop, your phone, your Twitter, your Facebook, and go talk to someone, you know, someone non-digital, and go have a real conversation.
And without further ado (drum roll please…or rim shot….your choice) the winner of the 2012 @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tournament is:
Listen, I think all of the people I follow on Twitter are great, especially those who made it in this year’s tourney. You keep me informed, make me laugh, often ruin my productivity, and make life a little more interesting. For that, I thank you all!
But what separated Jim this year was the fact that the tournament started with me being an absolute unknown in his world. As the tournament progressed and Jim moved along in it, we interacted (digitally) about the tournament. At some point we inspired each other to create blog posts. Me in a post called ‘Social Media; Influence, Engagement and the Elusive ROI’ (For what it’s worth Jim told me I was wrong and threw a pox on my house) and Jim in a post entitled ‘Social Intercourse: How to Score Online’
Eventually, however, the “digital” became “human” and ended on the patio of a Starbucks in North Carolina, where Jim and I traded wild and woolly stories from the world of analytics. The vapor of Twitter had turned into the caramel macchiato of real conversation. And that, my friend, is “engagement”.
So there you have it. The 2102 @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney.
Congratulation to the runner-up @jowyang who will assume the crown should @jimsterne be unable to fulfill the requirements of champion. Odds are 50/50 on that.
Finally, congratulations to all tourney participants, who all bring value to my twitterstream every day.
See you all again in 2013.
Now back to my regularly scheduled and woefully backlogged blog posts
And who will vie for this most cherished title? Well, let’s take a look at the final four matchups…
@jimsterne v. @1918: Phil (@1918) Buckley continued his unlikely and inspired run into his Final 4 matchup against web analytics wonderman @jimsterne. Phil ignored the Las Vegas bookies, who offered him at a bazillion to 1 odds, and powered his way into the Final 4 doing what he does best; offering a mix of compelling SEO-focused marketing links, original content on his blog, and promoting and engaging with local social media birds of a feather. Ya see Phil doesn’t pine to be a small fish in a big pond, preferring to be a quite massive fish in our humble Raleigh-Durham pond. I swear there isn’t a marketing related event in the Triangle that Phil isn’t smack dab in the middle of. I heard he’ll even venture to Carrboro if the hippie tree-huggers promise not to hound him for autographs.
Perhaps the most steady-eddie competitor in this year’s Tourney, Phil stuck with his tried and true game plan starting with cordial note to his adversary @jimsterne. Frankly I would have preferred some good old-fashioned trash talk but Phil always takes the high road on these types of interactions. He followed up with some of his usual high quality SEO content but lest you thought he was a one trick pony also added some mad design skillz to the competition, designing the Final Four image you see here. I’m pretty sure it was Phil’s way of saying “Dean, your images suck, get a load of this”, but I’m not gonna take that personal (cough…..point deductions…cough). Finally, he was able to slip in the word ‘bacon’ in a couple tweets scoring him a quick 76.24 Twitter Madness points. In short, Phil put up a great score and dared @jimsterne to beat it.
That brings us to @jimsterne. The heavy favorite coming into the matchup, Jim came out swinging starting with a congenial acknowledgement of his opponent Phil, scoring major points by sharing a link to Phil’s blog, despite the increased visibility and influence it was sure to afford Phil with the Sterne followers. In addition to his regular sharing of web analytic content (this hits the bulls-eye of my professional heart and soul) he tweeted some things he probably wasn’t even aware would contribute to his Final Four success.
First, he tweeted this:
Two things stuck out here:
1. @mktgdouchebag was actually a competitor in last year’s @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney Final Four, seeing his name come up at this point in the competition reminded me of the excitement of last year’s tourney as well as just how small this social media world is.
2. I LOVE that freakin quote cuz I think its soooooo true. Let’s get pissed off America and make sh*t happen!
Next, he tweeted this:
Little did Jim know that I spent 12 years of my life in T.O. (as us Torontonians call it) and the image of that skyline reminded me of how much I love that city. Seriously folks, if you’re on the fence about this emetrics thing, just go. It’s in freakin’ Toronto. And stop by Lee’s Palace and watch some sweaty, local alternative rock. They may say something about me skippin’ out on a tab but they’re definitely talking about a different Dean Shaw.
Then he tweeted:
Why yes I do call myself an analyst and yes I did buy 10 lottery tickets. Eff you @jimsterne!
(Note: I’ll be at work Monday so it’s fair to assume that I didn’t win the lottery and Jim “may” get the last laugh here)
Running scared from @1918’s stellar performance and continuing his Venn diagram fascination he threw this is the ring:
and so as not to look like he was pandering to the judge, he then offered a candid and telling opinion of my tweeting prowess:
(p.s. they turned down my order explaining my tweets weren’t worthy of such fine parchment)
Not content with questioning my acumen, he once again poked ‘retargeting’ fun at himself:
Spanx Jim???? I’m blushing for you.
Finally, in an attempt to bring some culture to this sordid event, he offered up his prose in the form of a limerick:
Sadly, he lost 746 points for this as it was quite simply HORRIBLE, and embarrassed leprechauns everywhere.
In the end @1918 was very strong, but @jimsterne was stronger. But be warned 2013 Twitter Madness Tourney competitors, the secret is out and look for @1918 to be a favorite in next year’s spectacle
@jowyang v. @kaimac: It’s obvious @kaimac wasn’t listening to the sage counseling I gave @RudiShumpert at the conclusion of Elite 8 matchups so let me freakin’ repeat….
“Folks, let me be clear on something. When you get to the Elite 8 of the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney and you don’t tweet on the first day of the matchup you disrespect me. But you not only disrespect me, you also disrespect your country, the Corps, and your Mama.”
I don’t know how clearer I could have been on this. I mean anyone who speaks English could not….wait a minute…@kaimac is Irish. I mean right off the boat smelling of beer and potatoes Irish.* Could it be that writing these posts in English as opposed to @kaimac’s native Gaelic has caused confusion for the young lad? If that’s the case, then I offer this to @kaimac:
Cad é na fuck cearr le fear agat? Ná tuigeann tú go bhfuil tú i @deanshaw Tourney Twitter Madness Final Four? Cuir síos ar an Guiness agus do cheann a fháil ar an Mick cluiche!
I’m glad I cleared that up.
On a positive note he did come strong on day 2 with a tweet offering last year’s champ @spikejones advice on serving me with a restraining order. I need that kind of discipline now and again.
As for @jowyang he seemed to find his groove with a variety of Twitter goodness including (but not limited to):
• Comparing Apple fanboys to potato crazy Japanese monkeys.
• Genetically modified goats mutated with Spider DNA to create spider webs in milk.
• Theorizing that our grandkids will laugh at our ‘paper’ and ‘metal’ system of currency
• A cute and boyishly naïve belief that Google+ has a hope in Hell (even though his own blog has no +1 capabilities)
* I don’t know this to be fact and it may be a gross mischaracterization and stereotyping of @kaimac and Irish people everywhere. Then again my Irish friend ‘Gus-Boy’ has been in America for almost 20 years and does, in fact, still smell of beer and potatoes.
So there you have it, 64 competitors whittled down to 2 battle worthy competitors. To quote Denver Bronco quarterback Peyton Manning (ok that sounds weird), “IT’S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!”
Let’s have at it boys!
As for @kaimac and @1918, you have inspired a nation gentleman…ok…probably not…now shoo.