So the 1st round of the @deanshaw 2012 Twitter Madness Tourney is in the books and along with some expected outcomes we had some wild upsets and close calls. The 2nd round should be a real thriller as the competition heats up and the tweets become more critical.
It’s the second round people! Let’s get it on!
1st Round Summary
@BorowitzReport v. @SquareJawMedia: Like Lehigh University, this was just a tough matchup for SquareJaw and I am a sucker for snarky political humor. Wait…what??? Lehigh beat Duke????????
@iamJeffCohen v. @spikejones: If you’re gonna beat defending champion @spikejones you’re gonna have to bring more than a few tweets about Mountain Dew.
@MarkRaganCEO v. @jimsterne: In the first upset of the tourney @jimsterne brings down the heavily favored PR man. Mark Ragan brings a shitload of info to your twitterstream but he violates so many of my twitter douchebaggery rules I cannot in good conscious advance him to the next round. Jim also questioned my intelligence on a blog post I wrote showing a savvy recognition of my idiocy.
@DRUNKHULK v. @JustinKownacki: What a barnburner! Justin was cruising along hitting singles & doubles when out of nowhere hit a homerun with a brilliant George Clooney tweet. But in a squeaker JKow pulls out a narrow victory.
@chrisbrogan v. @overdrv: Perhaps still stinging from his first round upset from last year Brogan narrowly beats out Overdrv who unfortunately spent much of their matchup obsessing over some chick named Jane Mass. Ya, I don’t know who she is either.
@danzarella v. @awarenessinc: The social media scientist must have got lost on his way to the tourney posting only one tweet during the matchup. That was enough to hand the victory to Awareness.
@GSElevator v. @frankreed: Yet another bracket busting upset. Despite the Goldman Sachs news this week and the treasure trove of potential material, the elevator went down on GSElevator and Frank took advantage.
@mollybuckley v. @Cole_Watts: Cole Watts bracket looks waaaay better than mine at this point. He’s gotta go. #NotThatImPettyOrAnything
@TheOnion v. @carlsonjill: C’mon, it’s The Onion.
@stevehall v. @glenngabe: Perhaps sensing he was up against last year’s tourney finalist, Glenn brought his A-game and overwhelmed Steve
@badbanana v. @zachward: Two comedic geniuses go head to head, but while Zach was ‘hustling’ the badbanana was dropping dope tweets.
@dmscott v. @erictpeterson: Not only is there an “I” in David Meerman Scott but there’s also a ‘me”. Eric Peterson wins by an egomania DQ.
@thesulk v. @digitalalex: This was a battle of two people who really don’t seem to have the passion to win the Twitter Madness Tourney. Hard to figure that.
@1918 v. @cnmoody: Buckley whipped Moody. “That’s what she said”
@HubSpot v. @morgansiem: Morgan is tha shit but you need more than that to stop the Hubspot train.
@radian6 v. @HelenASPopkin: Radian6 mostly that blah blah blah engagement stuff. Helen brought some flava to the party.
@iamJeffCohen v. @spikejones: If you’re gonna beat defending champion @spikejones you’re gonna have to bring more than a few tweets about Mountain Dew.
@SteveMartinToGo v. @coreyspencer: Ya can’t win if ya don’t tweet.
@ShannonPaul v. @RudiShumpert: “if you are on opposite sides of the street you can WAVE to each other.” ‘nuf said.
@jdharm v. @johnlovett: I thought the web analytics wonder man could handle the marbly-mouthed Stern staffer but he came up short this time.
@leeodden v. @DavidBThomas: My buddy Dave musta been all tuckered out from SXSW as he was unusually silent in the first round.
@jowyang v. @CoreyCreed: Two underwhelming performances from two heavyweight Twitter titans. Edge Owyang
@JudahWorldChampion v. @dearblankplease: Why do you thing he’s the world champion?
@adage v. @JayDolan: Jay Dolan is getting healthy which only reminds me that I eat horribly and I’m in lousy shape. I gotta get rid of this kid
@Humblebrag v. @covati: Wow! A stunner! One of my favorite tweeters is humble and doesn’t brag. Adam Covati catches a huge break and advances to the next round!
@SethMacFarlane v. @FYeahAnalytics: A first time Twitter Madness Tourney participant and FYeah showed his rookie jitters against a comedy titan.
@jtobin v. @gemsie: I can only assume Jim was too much of a gentleman to beat a lady in the tourney.
@avinash v. @OMLee: Avinash said something about bacon.
@kaimac v. @mktgdouchebag: The douchebag made a deep run into the tourney last year but must have pulled a hammy in his twitter finger as he was largely quiet during this matchup. Tough break for the big fella and fortuitous luck for the mick..
@KimJongNumberUn v. @mediatwo: That tubby little dictator kid is funny but just like his critics in North Korea, I don’t think he has the legs for this tourney
@Exxx v. @SocialMedia411: I love potato-eating fairies that have pornish sounding twitter handles as much as the next guy, but The 411 is just that good.
@SteveNash v. @lyndseo: In the battle of the Canucks (I didn’t know they had running water up there, let alone twitter) my girl and fellow Winnipegger came up short (get it? short? basketball player?) against the only decent b-ball player Canada has ever produced. Legend had it he got lost on the way to hockey practice when he was a kid and ended up at a gym.
@AndyBeal v. @GinneySkal: Still bitter from his early exit at last year’s tourney, the uke playin’, karate choppin’, Hawaii visitin’, photo takin’, reputation managin’ titan is back in form and ready to rock this year.
And so it was. What started 3 weeks ago with 64 fierce and determined Twitterers…er….Tweeters…umm..,people on Twitter was slowly whittled down to the best of the best: @SpikeJones and @adrants. They both proved their mettle by beating some big time competition along with some spirited upstarts. And in the end, this competition has been less about crowning a champion as it has been about making 63 enemies. So with other further adieu (I have no idea what adieu means but it makes me look cultured no?) here is a look at the Championship match in the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney
@SpikeJones v. @adrants
In a stunning development that emerged on the eve of the championship match, the nameless, faceless brilliance behind @adrants was revealed to be @stevehall, writer, publisher, cool glasses wearer. With this shocking discovery, @adrants’ dominance through the field of 64 was all of a sudden making sense. This was no the side-project of some snot-nosed Junior Achievement brats, nor the musings of a DeVry University Philosophy Major living in his parent’s basement. This was the real deal. By contrast, @SpikeJones hid behind no alias. He of @BrainsOnFire fame and an accomplished something or other in his own right, including fancy dancy titles at Fleishman-Hilliard. In short, these were no ham n’ eggers, these were true titans at their craft. I also have a sneakin’ suspicion that they can be found at the local waterin’ on any given Friday downing wobbly pops. But enough about that, let’s get to the action.
Tale of the Tape
* Because at the end of the day, it’s all about me
Color Commentary: @adrants
@adrants stuck with the formula that got him to the big dance with clever posts about off the radar news from the field of advertising. If you want RTs of RTs, then follow @chrisbrogan or @mashable or any sycophant that follows @chrisbrogan or @mashable. If you want interesting and amusing takes on interesting and amusing stories @adrants is who you need to follow. One curious strategy was @adrants not mentioning ‘boobs’ during the championship match. It was that savvy move that earned him a spot in the championship game so it showed big coconuts to forgo that proven strategy. He did however slip in a post about ‘Fingers’ and ‘Hot Chick’ which brilliantly distracted me. Also, among his tweets were ‘Food Porn’ and Wonderbra 2.0. In short, @adrants stuck with his game and put in a worthy and consistent performance. If you are not following him, you be crazy in the head yo.
Color Commentary: @SpikeJones
Like @adrants, @SpikeJones stuck with the girl that brung him. And that girl likes poking fun at social media enthusiasts and hipsters. Some of his stronger musings included “It’s a vortex, wrapped in a who gives a flying eff.” And “I still don’t care what you had for lunch.” I really think that if this Digital Marketing thingy dingy doesn’t work out he could make a good living writing bumper sticker slogans, or perhaps punch lines for Snooki. What @SpikeJones doesn’t do, which endears me to him (I don’t mean that in a romantical sense – I’m all man) is that he doesn’t RT the news of the day. I mean seriously, do people really think they were breaking a major headline when they tweeted “Wow, huge tsunami in Japan http://oldne.ws/TyiNgToLoOkSmaRT” 12 hours after it happened. I mean, thanks for the breaking news Brian Williams but I heard about it 154 RTs ago http://LAteToThePar.ty/DiPShiT. I would recommend that you follow @SpikeJones but even he would advise against that. So #unfollow @SpikeJones
I think one of my
million, thousands, hundreds, ok one guy commented:
“I find myself clicking on more @Adrants links then all other twitter accounts combined… hmmm, I wonder why. Plus @Adrants represents on #SoCruise… And @SpikeJones insights on WOM is unbeatable and I enjoy how he pokes at us social media enthusiasts…plus he let me borrow a slide once for a presentation – – this will be a tough one – – but B00bs win!”
I agree 100% with 60% of what this guy say and I don’t envy me and the decision I need to make. If it weren’t for the fact that neither gives a rats a$$ and it’s meaningless accomplishment, I might do what any self-respecting NBA ref or State Senator would do and take a bribe, but alas this is going to have to come down to a gut call. And when I think about guts, I think about eating, and when I think about eating, I think about brisket, and when I think about brisket, I think about Texas, and when I think about Texas, I think about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and when I think about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, I think about football, and when I think about football, I think about touchdowns, and when I think about touchdowns, I think about spiked footballs, and when I think about spiked footballs I think about @SpikeJones.
Winner by the hair of my chinny chin chin: @SpikeJones
Congratulations @SpikeJones, you are the 2011 @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney Champion. That and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee (unless you’re going to Starbucks in which case you’ll need another buck 75).
Congratulation to the runner-up @adrants who will assume the crown should @spikejones be unable to fulfill the requirements of champion. I’m certain that will happen by next Tuesday.
Finally, congratulations to all tourney participants, who all bring value to my twitterstream everyday. I love you all for that, especially you @girlsinyogapants 😉
See you all again in 2012.
And so here it is, the moment all Tweeters dream about when they are little boys, drawing tweets in the sand at recess, dreaming of one day making it the big dance. The Final Four of the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney. Ok , technically the Final Five. Each has circumnavigated the Twittersphere to emerge as the elite of absolute strangers I follow. Each represents all that is good and non-douchy about the medium. And while each brings their own unique style to the Twitter feed they all have something they share…oh screw it…let’s look at the results…
@SpikeJones v. @Justinkownacki / @mtkgdouchebag There’s a code in the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney. And that code is “don’t hunt elephants.” Fortunately, none of the participants in this match did that as far as I can tell. Now I am sure @SpikeJones has probably hit the odd Armadillo in his stagecoach in Austin, and I am certain @JustinKownacki probably has taken out some polar bears in Erie, PA with a snowball launcher. But this is a lot different than grabbing a high powered rifle, hiding in the bushes, taking down a majestic pachyderm in the dead of night, and then celebrating by making the event a branding opportunity. Now listen, I like elephant meat as much as the next guy but seriously @BobParsons, Not. Cool.
But on to the business at hand…@mktgdouchebag and @justinkownacki took their alliance into the final four hoping that they could rope-a-dope the wiley @SpikeJones with a combination of sarcasm, poignant observation, and web TV episodes (if you haven’t seen the @TheBaristasTV stop reading this now and check it out..err…I mean finish reading this and then go check it out). Perhaps distracted by you know things more important than Twitter @JustinKownacki was surprisingly disengaged during the match which left @mktgdouchebag left to lead the charge. While fighting gallantly for two days he made one critical error – apologizing to hipsters. There is only one time when it’s ok to apologize to hipsters, and that time is…never. I mean I never heard anyone apologize to me when I was sportin’ parachute pants and a Flock of Seagulls ‘do back in the…er…I mean…ummm…nevermind. @SpikeJones bravely (foolishly? Who knows, it’s such a fine line) faced the two-headed monster with defiance, refusing to let @mktgdouchebag back out of the handicap match when the offer was made. He stuck with his game plan – offer a little value as possible, and provoke the shit out of social media enthusiasts. Sounds like a winning combination to me.
For staring down the tag team champions and even dropping a ‘Frankie Goes to Hollywood’ reference…
@Adrants v. @SocialMedia411 In the battle of the faceless, nameless twitter accounts (I mean that’s what social media is all about right) two twitter behemoths squared off in the arena of 140 characters. For most of the tourney, @SocialMedia411 steamrolled over their competition and look unstoppable, leaving a wake of twitter destruction behind them. But the Twitter Madness Tourney is a fickle mistress, unforgiving of even the smallest miscalculation. As so it was, that while @SocialMedia411 seemed destined for Tourney greatness, they lost focus for a split second and tweeted this uncharacteristic gaffe:
“Thinking of taking next week off just to see if anybody notices @SocialMedia411 missing from their stream.”
This bizarre sense of self-importance resulted in a 4,000 point Douchebag deduction, as anyone who thinks that they would ever be missed on Twitter has either a ginormous ego or a twisted sense of reality. Let’s be clear, no one is ever missed on Twitter, not even you @SocialMedia411. As for @adrants, they tweeted about boobs…..twice. Advantage @adrants
So there you have it. After 62 matches, it all comes down to this. The irresistible force vs. the immovable object. The city slicker vs. the lonesome cowboy. The ranter vs. ummmm…the ranter. C’mon boys, it’s game time! #BringIt
Well the action is heating up and we’ve reach the Final Four of the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney the excitement across America is palpable. I have no idea what palpable means but I heard Greg Gumbel say it during a Gonzaga game once so it must be relevant. And even as I tire of the ruse that this exhibition has become, I have been inspired by its contestants who have encouraged me with statements like, “Who are you again?” and “Seriously, quit tweeting me messages” or “You know I really don’t care”. And so it is, because of this overwhelming demand, that I persevere, and continue on dissecting the matchups, running the numbers through the ‘Twitter Madness algorithm’ (patent pending) and bring you the Final Four!
@SpikeJones v. @ShannonPaul Ya know how Theodore Roosevelt said it wasn’t wise poke Sasquatch with sharp stick? Ya, me neither, but trust me, he said it. And while both @SpikeJones and @ShannonPaul has less than stellar Twitter performances in this round they both found time to take jabs at me. @ShannonPaul reminded me that death’s door when she indicated that she was in Grade 2 while I was going to R.E.M. concerts in Detroit. @SpikeJones bragged about his Lady Bears were in the Elite 8 of the Women’s NCAA Tournament reminding me about how pathetic my Bowling Green Falcon have never won a sausage at anything. Well they won an NCAA hockey championship but I am pretty sure that counts as nothing. In the end being reminded that I’m inching closer to death proved to be much more damaging to me than knowing I went to a school with crap sports teams.
@adage v. @Justinkownacki / @mtkgdouchebag Ya remember those old time wrestling matches where Big Bad Bobby Duncan would distract the referee while Black Jack Lanza got his brass knuckles out and clobbered Superfly Jimmy Snuka? Ya, me neither but trust me, it happened. It was completely unfair but then again you almost needed 2 guys to beat Jimmy Snuka so in that sense it was the price you had to pay for a fair wrestlin’ match. Well just like old time wrestling, this week saw the first ever, 2 on 1 death cage match in the 1 year history of the @deanshaw Twitter madness tourney pitting Big Bad @Justinkownacki and Black @mtkgdouchebag against Superfly @adage. And just like their Pro Wrestling predecessors, @JustinKownacki and @mtkgdouchebag teamed up to stun @adage who had an uncharacteristically poor performance.
Winner: @Justinkownacki / @mtkgdouchebag
@adrants v. @YourCustomers Ya remember when I took two really hot chicks to the high school prom but could only go home with one? Ya, me neither but trust me, it happened. And just like that magic night, here I was with two Twitter beauties battling for the honor to take me home. They both were very engaging, smart, and had a great set of RTs (if ya know what I mean). At the Prom, as ‘Stairway To Heaven’ began to wind down and the lights came up, I needed to make a critical decision and ultimately went home with my Mom who was waiting for me in our ’76 Pinto. In this case, because @YourCustomers committed the sin of reposting tweets, @adrants is coming home with me, in my Mom’s ’76 Pinto.
@SethMacFarlane v. @SocialMedia411 ya remember when @SethMacFarlane begged me to get him into the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney and promised that he was “gonna go all the way” and fly me out to Hollywood to party when he won? Ya me neither but believe me I was there, and it happened. Well as luck would have it @SethMacFarlane maneuvered his way to the Elite 8 and seemed destined for a Cinderella run to the Final Four. But alas the funnyman ran into the buzzsaw that is @socialmedia411 beat him senseless with a barrage of Twitter kicks to his funny bone. Back to cartoon land for you @SethMacFarlane.
Welcome to the Final Four boys…and…errr…corporate entities. May the best Tweeter or whoever I figure does best win! #BringIt
Controversy erupted as competitors demanded to know the algorithmic formula for determining winners in the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney. These competitors insisted that somehow certain matches were rigged or tilted in some Twitterer’s favor. For the record I can tell you that the formula is so complex that even if I were to reveal it trying to decipher the complexity of the formulas would be more difficult that understanding anything that comes out of Ozzy Osborne’s pie-hole. Even if I wanted to reveal the formula, it would be impossible since it is kept in a spent bottle of ‘Ol’ Grandad’s Bourbon, buried 14 feet underground and protected by a family of Sasquatches somewhere in the woods of Pennsylvania. So you are just gonna have to trust me on this. The algorithm doesn’t lie and here is what it tells me about the Sweet 16 matchups.
@Webtrends v. @ShannonPaul “You don’t have to be the best; you just have to be better than the other guy.” No matchup personified this theory better than this one. @Webtrends seemed obsessed with Facebook with half their tweets focus on the social media behemoth. Me? I am Facebooked out. @ShannonPaul on the other hand spent her time defending Detroit and imparting weight loss tips. Tough call but @Webtrends needs to find a new muse and @ShannonPaul gets sympathy points for sticking it out in Detroit
@SpikeJones v. @Sysomos This match had an international flair as both opponents hailed from outside the U.S., with @Sysomos residing in Toronto, Canada and @SpikeJones from the Republic of Texas. They both got bonus points for translating their tweets to English as I don’t understand French or Cowboy. @SpikeJones stuck with what got him here. Snark, sarcasm, and shots across the bow of the cool social media kids. No preachy content or sniveling RTs. Gotta respect a guy who knows his role and plays it well. @sysomos played a strong game and appeared to have the match won….until further investigation…which showed excessive reposts which earned them major douchbaggery points. Aggravating that situation further was the repackaging of the same content with different context. It had all the charm of the bait and switch tactics you’d get at the local HH Gregg store. A/B tests may be the way to go in the web world, but on Twitter it’s an annoying gotcha to your most ardent followers. If the contents that important, I’ll find it on my own, don’t beat me across the face with it.
@adage v. @KISSmetrics Stealing @sysomos playbook backfired as @KISSmetrics fell into the same reposting trap. Just because you’re in love with your Twitter infographic doesn’t mean we are. Tweet once or maaaaaaaaybe twice, but when it becomes a tourettian impulse, you start hacking me off. Just because @GuyKawasaki does it doesn’t mean you have to, and for what it’s worth I could only handle the “@GuyKawasaki Show” for about two weeks before it became more annoying than a Jersey Shore marathon on MTV and got him #unfollowed. @adage put on a formidable performance with lots of great original content on a wide variety of topics. They are a true productivity killer and I salute them for that.
@JustinKownacki v. @mktgdouchebag this matchup was so close I had to do some really eyeballing of their performances before determining a winner. They were both real strong with engagement and even struck up some banter over the subject of “marketing douchebaggery.” Interesting side-note: I first became aware of @JustinKownacki through a dusty old side project of his called Marketing Douchebags. The world would be a better place if this site could be resurrected but I understand that covering the world of marketing douchbaggery is a 24 hour a day responsibility and one that no mere mortal could keep up with…but I digress. So figuring this guy was savvy enough to brand himself the marketing douchbag on Twitter I came across @mktgdouchebag who was a whole different flavor of douchebag. Have I said ‘douchebag’ enough to boost my SEO relevancy?
Ok then let’s continue. It’s an interesting confluence of events that culminated in the epic battle on the field of Twitter Madness. @JustinKownacki actually went 2 days without 1 mention of Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, MySpace, Digg, etc. – big points for that. He also serves up free entertainment with The Baristas that isn’t worse than anything on the CW. It also brings back memories of my cable access show from the late 80’s (no you will NEVER see it posted on YouTube – but trust me it was stellar). In combing through @mktgdoughebag‘s activity I discovered something I had previously overlooked. In his avatar he is actually wearing one of those earphone thingies. I was about to deduct major points for severe douchbaggery but then realized ‘wait he’s @mktgdouchebag’. So, by accident or design, its brilliant (no deductions). In an overtime thrilla…
@TheOnion v. @adrants In a stunning upset, #18 @adrants beat #2 @TheOnion. Onion brought its usual array of smothering sarcasm and wit to the floor but let @adrants hang around just long enough to offer enough under the radar and often hilarious industry news. In a statement to the press @TheOnion said ‘Sure we’re stunned at our early exit from the Twitter Madness Tournament but then again we don’t have a clue what it is and why anyone would give a rat’s ass. @deanshaw is a hack and he can take his 350 followers and go to hell.”
@YourCustomers v. @exxx In a very lopsided victory @YourCustomers trounced social media pixie @Exxx They outperformed @Exxx in every category except one; A twitter handle that sounds like a porn site but isn’t.
@forrester v. @SethMacFarlane In a battle of “Less is More” @forrester and @SethMacFarlane tried to under tweet each other. In the end @SethMacFarklane offered witty anecdotes while @forrester was about as exciting a scrabble night at the VFW hall.
@avinash v. @SocialMedia411 how do you beat an industry icon who gets by using only his first name? No not Cher…@avinash. You do it by pounding our interesting content in massive volumes day after friggin’ day. It’s what @SocialMedia411 does and they do it well.
So, it’s on to the Elite 8. Time to step it up boys (or on @ShannonPaul ‘s case ‘girl’). #BringIt