Daily Archives: April 4, 2011
And so here it is, the moment all Tweeters dream about when they are little boys, drawing tweets in the sand at recess, dreaming of one day making it the big dance. The Final Four of the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney. Ok , technically the Final Five. Each has circumnavigated the Twittersphere to emerge as the elite of absolute strangers I follow. Each represents all that is good and non-douchy about the medium. And while each brings their own unique style to the Twitter feed they all have something they share…oh screw it…let’s look at the results…
@SpikeJones v. @Justinkownacki / @mtkgdouchebag There’s a code in the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney. And that code is “don’t hunt elephants.” Fortunately, none of the participants in this match did that as far as I can tell. Now I am sure @SpikeJones has probably hit the odd Armadillo in his stagecoach in Austin, and I am certain @JustinKownacki probably has taken out some polar bears in Erie, PA with a snowball launcher. But this is a lot different than grabbing a high powered rifle, hiding in the bushes, taking down a majestic pachyderm in the dead of night, and then celebrating by making the event a branding opportunity. Now listen, I like elephant meat as much as the next guy but seriously @BobParsons, Not. Cool.
But on to the business at hand…@mktgdouchebag and @justinkownacki took their alliance into the final four hoping that they could rope-a-dope the wiley @SpikeJones with a combination of sarcasm, poignant observation, and web TV episodes (if you haven’t seen the @TheBaristasTV stop reading this now and check it out..err…I mean finish reading this and then go check it out). Perhaps distracted by you know things more important than Twitter @JustinKownacki was surprisingly disengaged during the match which left @mktgdouchebag left to lead the charge. While fighting gallantly for two days he made one critical error – apologizing to hipsters. There is only one time when it’s ok to apologize to hipsters, and that time is…never. I mean I never heard anyone apologize to me when I was sportin’ parachute pants and a Flock of Seagulls ‘do back in the…er…I mean…ummm…nevermind. @SpikeJones bravely (foolishly? Who knows, it’s such a fine line) faced the two-headed monster with defiance, refusing to let @mktgdouchebag back out of the handicap match when the offer was made. He stuck with his game plan – offer a little value as possible, and provoke the shit out of social media enthusiasts. Sounds like a winning combination to me.
For staring down the tag team champions and even dropping a ‘Frankie Goes to Hollywood’ reference…
@Adrants v. @SocialMedia411 In the battle of the faceless, nameless twitter accounts (I mean that’s what social media is all about right) two twitter behemoths squared off in the arena of 140 characters. For most of the tourney, @SocialMedia411 steamrolled over their competition and look unstoppable, leaving a wake of twitter destruction behind them. But the Twitter Madness Tourney is a fickle mistress, unforgiving of even the smallest miscalculation. As so it was, that while @SocialMedia411 seemed destined for Tourney greatness, they lost focus for a split second and tweeted this uncharacteristic gaffe:
“Thinking of taking next week off just to see if anybody notices @SocialMedia411 missing from their stream.”
This bizarre sense of self-importance resulted in a 4,000 point Douchebag deduction, as anyone who thinks that they would ever be missed on Twitter has either a ginormous ego or a twisted sense of reality. Let’s be clear, no one is ever missed on Twitter, not even you @SocialMedia411. As for @adrants, they tweeted about boobs…..twice. Advantage @adrants
So there you have it. After 62 matches, it all comes down to this. The irresistible force vs. the immovable object. The city slicker vs. the lonesome cowboy. The ranter vs. ummmm…the ranter. C’mon boys, it’s game time! #BringIt