Well the action is heating up and we’ve reach the Final Four of the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney the excitement across America is palpable. I have no idea what palpable means but I heard Greg Gumbel say it during a Gonzaga game once so it must be relevant. And even as I tire of the ruse that this exhibition has become, I have been inspired by its contestants who have encouraged me with statements like, “Who are you again?” and “Seriously, quit tweeting me messages” or “You know I really don’t care”. And so it is, because of this overwhelming demand, that I persevere, and continue on dissecting the matchups, running the numbers through the ‘Twitter Madness algorithm’ (patent pending) and bring you the Final Four!
@SpikeJones v. @ShannonPaul Ya know how Theodore Roosevelt said it wasn’t wise poke Sasquatch with sharp stick? Ya, me neither, but trust me, he said it. And while both @SpikeJones and @ShannonPaul has less than stellar Twitter performances in this round they both found time to take jabs at me. @ShannonPaul reminded me that death’s door when she indicated that she was in Grade 2 while I was going to R.E.M. concerts in Detroit. @SpikeJones bragged about his Lady Bears were in the Elite 8 of the Women’s NCAA Tournament reminding me about how pathetic my Bowling Green Falcon have never won a sausage at anything. Well they won an NCAA hockey championship but I am pretty sure that counts as nothing. In the end being reminded that I’m inching closer to death proved to be much more damaging to me than knowing I went to a school with crap sports teams.
@adage v. @Justinkownacki / @mtkgdouchebag Ya remember those old time wrestling matches where Big Bad Bobby Duncan would distract the referee while Black Jack Lanza got his brass knuckles out and clobbered Superfly Jimmy Snuka? Ya, me neither but trust me, it happened. It was completely unfair but then again you almost needed 2 guys to beat Jimmy Snuka so in that sense it was the price you had to pay for a fair wrestlin’ match. Well just like old time wrestling, this week saw the first ever, 2 on 1 death cage match in the 1 year history of the @deanshaw Twitter madness tourney pitting Big Bad @Justinkownacki and Black @mtkgdouchebag against Superfly @adage. And just like their Pro Wrestling predecessors, @JustinKownacki and @mtkgdouchebag teamed up to stun @adage who had an uncharacteristically poor performance.
Winner: @Justinkownacki / @mtkgdouchebag
@adrants v. @YourCustomers Ya remember when I took two really hot chicks to the high school prom but could only go home with one? Ya, me neither but trust me, it happened. And just like that magic night, here I was with two Twitter beauties battling for the honor to take me home. They both were very engaging, smart, and had a great set of RTs (if ya know what I mean). At the Prom, as ‘Stairway To Heaven’ began to wind down and the lights came up, I needed to make a critical decision and ultimately went home with my Mom who was waiting for me in our ’76 Pinto. In this case, because @YourCustomers committed the sin of reposting tweets, @adrants is coming home with me, in my Mom’s ’76 Pinto.
@SethMacFarlane v. @SocialMedia411 ya remember when @SethMacFarlane begged me to get him into the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney and promised that he was “gonna go all the way” and fly me out to Hollywood to party when he won? Ya me neither but believe me I was there, and it happened. Well as luck would have it @SethMacFarlane maneuvered his way to the Elite 8 and seemed destined for a Cinderella run to the Final Four. But alas the funnyman ran into the buzzsaw that is @socialmedia411 beat him senseless with a barrage of Twitter kicks to his funny bone. Back to cartoon land for you @SethMacFarlane.
Welcome to the Final Four boys…and…errr…corporate entities. May the best Tweeter or whoever I figure does best win! #BringIt
Controversy erupted as competitors demanded to know the algorithmic formula for determining winners in the @deanshaw Twitter Madness Tourney. These competitors insisted that somehow certain matches were rigged or tilted in some Twitterer’s favor. For the record I can tell you that the formula is so complex that even if I were to reveal it trying to decipher the complexity of the formulas would be more difficult that understanding anything that comes out of Ozzy Osborne’s pie-hole. Even if I wanted to reveal the formula, it would be impossible since it is kept in a spent bottle of ‘Ol’ Grandad’s Bourbon, buried 14 feet underground and protected by a family of Sasquatches somewhere in the woods of Pennsylvania. So you are just gonna have to trust me on this. The algorithm doesn’t lie and here is what it tells me about the Sweet 16 matchups.
@Webtrends v. @ShannonPaul “You don’t have to be the best; you just have to be better than the other guy.” No matchup personified this theory better than this one. @Webtrends seemed obsessed with Facebook with half their tweets focus on the social media behemoth. Me? I am Facebooked out. @ShannonPaul on the other hand spent her time defending Detroit and imparting weight loss tips. Tough call but @Webtrends needs to find a new muse and @ShannonPaul gets sympathy points for sticking it out in Detroit
@SpikeJones v. @Sysomos This match had an international flair as both opponents hailed from outside the U.S., with @Sysomos residing in Toronto, Canada and @SpikeJones from the Republic of Texas. They both got bonus points for translating their tweets to English as I don’t understand French or Cowboy. @SpikeJones stuck with what got him here. Snark, sarcasm, and shots across the bow of the cool social media kids. No preachy content or sniveling RTs. Gotta respect a guy who knows his role and plays it well. @sysomos played a strong game and appeared to have the match won….until further investigation…which showed excessive reposts which earned them major douchbaggery points. Aggravating that situation further was the repackaging of the same content with different context. It had all the charm of the bait and switch tactics you’d get at the local HH Gregg store. A/B tests may be the way to go in the web world, but on Twitter it’s an annoying gotcha to your most ardent followers. If the contents that important, I’ll find it on my own, don’t beat me across the face with it.
@adage v. @KISSmetrics Stealing @sysomos playbook backfired as @KISSmetrics fell into the same reposting trap. Just because you’re in love with your Twitter infographic doesn’t mean we are. Tweet once or maaaaaaaaybe twice, but when it becomes a tourettian impulse, you start hacking me off. Just because @GuyKawasaki does it doesn’t mean you have to, and for what it’s worth I could only handle the “@GuyKawasaki Show” for about two weeks before it became more annoying than a Jersey Shore marathon on MTV and got him #unfollowed. @adage put on a formidable performance with lots of great original content on a wide variety of topics. They are a true productivity killer and I salute them for that.
@JustinKownacki v. @mktgdouchebag this matchup was so close I had to do some really eyeballing of their performances before determining a winner. They were both real strong with engagement and even struck up some banter over the subject of “marketing douchebaggery.” Interesting side-note: I first became aware of @JustinKownacki through a dusty old side project of his called Marketing Douchebags. The world would be a better place if this site could be resurrected but I understand that covering the world of marketing douchbaggery is a 24 hour a day responsibility and one that no mere mortal could keep up with…but I digress. So figuring this guy was savvy enough to brand himself the marketing douchbag on Twitter I came across @mktgdouchebag who was a whole different flavor of douchebag. Have I said ‘douchebag’ enough to boost my SEO relevancy?
Ok then let’s continue. It’s an interesting confluence of events that culminated in the epic battle on the field of Twitter Madness. @JustinKownacki actually went 2 days without 1 mention of Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, MySpace, Digg, etc. – big points for that. He also serves up free entertainment with The Baristas that isn’t worse than anything on the CW. It also brings back memories of my cable access show from the late 80’s (no you will NEVER see it posted on YouTube – but trust me it was stellar). In combing through @mktgdoughebag‘s activity I discovered something I had previously overlooked. In his avatar he is actually wearing one of those earphone thingies. I was about to deduct major points for severe douchbaggery but then realized ‘wait he’s @mktgdouchebag’. So, by accident or design, its brilliant (no deductions). In an overtime thrilla…
@TheOnion v. @adrants In a stunning upset, #18 @adrants beat #2 @TheOnion. Onion brought its usual array of smothering sarcasm and wit to the floor but let @adrants hang around just long enough to offer enough under the radar and often hilarious industry news. In a statement to the press @TheOnion said ‘Sure we’re stunned at our early exit from the Twitter Madness Tournament but then again we don’t have a clue what it is and why anyone would give a rat’s ass. @deanshaw is a hack and he can take his 350 followers and go to hell.”
@YourCustomers v. @exxx In a very lopsided victory @YourCustomers trounced social media pixie @Exxx They outperformed @Exxx in every category except one; A twitter handle that sounds like a porn site but isn’t.
@forrester v. @SethMacFarlane In a battle of “Less is More” @forrester and @SethMacFarlane tried to under tweet each other. In the end @SethMacFarklane offered witty anecdotes while @forrester was about as exciting a scrabble night at the VFW hall.
@avinash v. @SocialMedia411 how do you beat an industry icon who gets by using only his first name? No not Cher…@avinash. You do it by pounding our interesting content in massive volumes day after friggin’ day. It’s what @SocialMedia411 does and they do it well.
So, it’s on to the Elite 8. Time to step it up boys (or on @ShannonPaul ‘s case ‘girl’). #BringIt
@ChrisBrogan v. @Webtrends: this was a tough call. @Webtrends really only offered me a comparison between Omniture. Coremetrics, Webtrends and Google Analytics and a demo of Facebook’s Conversion Funnel but sometimes ‘less is more’ and by ‘more’ I mean the 94 tweets spewed from @ChrisBrogan (when exactly does this guy work?) If you eliminate tweets about himself he actually tweeted 4 times.
@MeetingBoy v. @ShannonPaul: @MeetingBoy can be funny, like a poor man’s Dilbert, but he just had a bad two days. @ShannonPaul came through with a link to a post on tracking tweets with Google Analytics and another on touching on Facebook being an overrated business tool.
@DRUNKHULK v. @sysomos: Just like @meeting boy, @DRUNKHULK can be funny, but he also had a bad round giving me nothing amusing. @sysomos committed the sin of reposting tweets multiple times but offered just enough content to get over on the HULK
@spikejones v. @hubspot: Hubspot is always good for an informative link and interesting webcasts but there’s a gazillion (really, I counted them) that give me the same thing. What Twitter needs is more sarcasm (and cowbell). Based on that, I am going to give the edge to @spikejones. Although, he better step it up in the next round
@adage v. @moconews: this was a tough matchup. Both showed up with some great links and original content. But someone’s got to win
@KISSmetrics v. @andybeal: I love @andybeal like a brother and you really should follow him and his site www.marketingpilgrim.com BUT he caught a tough draw in @KISSmetrics who beat him simply on volume of great content.
@jowang v. @JustinKownacki: No one likes @jowyang like @jowyang likes @jowyang so if you like @jowyang like @jowyang likes @jowyang you’ll like @jowyang. @JustinKownacki? He does his own web show @TheBarsitasTV. ‘Nuf said.
@digitalalex v. @mktgdouchebag: I like Clickthrough Rates as much as the next guy, but once in awhile I need a little snark.
@TheOnion v. @erictpeterson: It’s The Onion for crissakes
@dmscott v. @adrants: @adrants just killed it with so much great info I thought my brain was gonna vomit from overindulgence.
@gilliatt v. @YourCustomers: Ya can’t win if you don’t show up. @YourCustomers win with a gimme
@Bronto v. @Exxx: @Exxx wasn’t great – mostly sucking up to people but she benefitted by a weak showing from @Bronto
@SethMacFarlane v. @CMO_com: @CMO_com had the match won until they decided to repost their tweets. That douchbaggery cost them dearly.
@forrester v. @DavidBThomas: Beating the likes of @forrester is hard enough, but tweeting only once during the match pretty much seals your fate. Follow @DavidBThomas anyway. A really good guy.
@avinash v. @1918: @avinash is…well…@avinash. @1918 is..well…@1918. Tough draw for the local guy.
@SocialMedia411 v. @Hitwise_US: @SocialMedia is absolutely dominant right now and maybe the best tweeter left in the tourney. Fear the @SocialMedia411!
Congratulations to the winners and welcome to the Sweet Sixteen! As for the losers? Its back to campus for you ham ‘n eggers.